Dating advice for a new relationship
That is the real question to consider, the one that would have saved me personally from years of heartache and pain had I given it any thought. People only fall in love with those they feel secure around. They may have a lot of friends, but these friendships are superficial and lacking in intimacy.
There is nothing men love more than a positive, happy woman. Try to focus on deepening the bonds you have with people in your life, be it friends or family. When you try to win him over, you create an unbalanced dynamic where he is the authority on, and judge of, your worth. Now with the guys you do want there is more at stake. She empathizes with his situation and hopes her love will heal him.
If you put pressure on the relationship, you squeeze the life out of it and it stops being enjoyable and fun. Just realize he does and hold on to that conviction.
When you abandon your friendships, you create an empty space that the relationship is left to fill. No one really wants to be on the receiving end of this, though. If you feel insecure about yourself or the relationship, nothing he says will change that. The more you abandon other areas that fulfilled you, the more you expect him to compensate. It involves more than just not complaining, though.
Similarly, there is nothing more repulsive to a man than a negative, whiny woman who is always in a bad mood. Try to form real, genuine connections. Instead of getting swept up in how cute or charming or exciting a guy is, ask yourself if he has the qualities you want in a long-term partner, and look at how he treats you in general. The more comfortable we are with someone, the more comfortable we may feel unleashing a daily litany of complaints and grievances.
And no one, man or woman, likes to be around a negative, unhappy person. Yes, life can be hard and sometimes we just really gotta complain, but try not to make this a habit. In your relationship, and in your life in general, try to focus on being happy and positive.
Instead, you just enjoy your interactions with this other person and if it works out, great. See the good and try to let that radiate through you. You can be saying all the right things, but if you feel negative inside, it will still come across.
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